Thursday, August 26, 2010

I could not predict

It is hard week  that  I went through  I'm in  depressed and shocked because of recent thing happen so sudden and i could not determine what is sudden and i could not accept sudden  but everything was so sudden but it  all about bound  between sympathetic nurse with her patient and it about  feeling sad ,wish and hope.

I become so upset till i  cried the whole day and night. but  i could not change thing has happened and i could not do anything.even though i can share how i felt for my patient with my friends but yet i could not forget how shock I'm. event it not the first time i saw people dying tragically  but  it really left me trauma when some one can say thank you and left u ,then the heart stop beating and not breathing.sometime looked so fine after defib can open eyes and smile and say thank u but at the moment u walk away she go with u. nothing can bring her back.

How could  I  accept every time I nurse her i will pray for her may god bless her , may god not prolonging her suffer. and on that day I recite quran quietly and   really  she looked so fine only become more pale and then  more cold. I cold not determined how i  felt the temperature was fine blood pressure was good,   but because she so pale i took blood investigation to determine why. I left her for 30 minute break when i came back she gone. How can I accept it so sudden. Why my eyes so blind why i could not see i swear  with the name of God . the way she go left me with trauma.   and then another patient of mine  before asystole when i just came back from morgue , how could i accept  it so sudden  like some one up there is listening to  what i pray.oh  God please bless them  i have done my part .
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