I become so upset till i cried the whole day and night. but i could not change thing has happened and i could not do anything.even though i can share how i felt for my patient with my friends but yet i could not forget how shock I'm. event it not the first time i saw people dying tragically but it really left me trauma when some one can say thank you and left u ,then the heart stop beating and not breathing.sometime looked so fine after defib can open eyes and smile and say thank u but at the moment u walk away she go with u. nothing can bring her back.
How could I accept every time I nurse her i will pray for her may god bless her , may god not prolonging her suffer. and on that day I recite quran quietly and really she looked so fine only become more pale and then more cold. I cold not determined how i felt the temperature was fine blood pressure was good, but because she so pale i took blood investigation to determine why. I left her for 30 minute break when i came back she gone. How can I accept it so sudden. Why my eyes so blind why i could not see i swear with the name of God . the way she go left me with trauma. and then another patient of mine before asystole when i just came back from morgue , how could i accept it so sudden like some one up there is listening to what i pray.oh God please bless them i have done my part .